Dienstag, 23. Mai 2017

"I'm too lazy to learn new categories" adventures

People who read this blog (why you would even check a blog that never gets updated is beyond me though) will know that I have been playing Imperishable Night extra for a long time and it has been my main project since Autumn 2014. I have occasionally played other things in the meantime (like IN normal or Phantasm) but did not manage to get good or consistent at any other categories. My fixation on this extra stage has a few reasons:

1. In the days and weeks after I got my current high score, new strategies emerged and quite a lot of smaller improvements. Some found by other players (mostly t1100), some found by myself and others were suggested to me as possibly being possible so I tested and found those guesses to be accurate. Some of these strategies were slight tweaks in what was done before, others were complete overhauls compared to the previous ones and then some were simply new things no one had done before. In light of all those discoveries, it is very easy to see that my run is simply lacking in a lot more departments than previously thought. As a result, I feel the need to improve my score.

2. Learning a new category is a tremendous effort. Learning a new category to the point where I would satisfied with my results is even more difficult. There have been attempts as previously mentioned which failed and there are categories on my mind which I would like to attempt to learn but I don't know if my interest in Touhou as a whole is strong enough for me to actually invest the time necessary to sufficiently learn a new game, especially knowing that the category I am thinking of is very difficult already. Aside from interest, I am also going to start working, which naturally reduces the time I have to even play in general. 

3. I am not a grind heavy person in general. It is a bit of a miracle I have stuck with any category for as long as I have with this one, to be quite honest. I recognize that a lot of practice and many resets are necessary for good results, which is why I don't whine about this issue like other people do. This however does not mean that I like doing it and my play times reflect that. They are very low compared to other good players. Honestly speaking, the most fun time I have with Touhou is when I practice something completely new until I have learned it. The time I spent learning the new route for Imperishable Shooting, Yukari's final spell or Yu-suke's strategy for Reflowering were among the most fun times I had in Touhou. At the same time, once I learned how to do a pattern, it becomes a grind for consistency and I don't particularly like those but they are as important as learning the trick in the first place. This point is important because even if I had all the time in the world, it is questionable whether I have the dedication necessary to learn everything in a new category. My laziness is also the main reason why I am uncertain that I will actually ever beat my high score in IN extra.

That's it for the game related parts. This entry will now go into community meta so it's probably best to just skip this part because no one cares about it.

Let me preface this by saying that I do not hate all of you. There are individuals I dislike, some strongly. My biggest problem, however, lies with what individuals act like within a community. To put it simply, many Touhou communities have a strong emphasis on being fake. Whether it's heaping fake praise on someone or being artificially nice as to make sure not offend someone. You can't be honest anymore without there being some sort of backlash by people who firmly planted some feel-good philosophy into everywhere they go. Though the communities are very split and there is much segregation between certain groups, this kind of behavior I have noticed happens independently across many of them. This disgusts me on a personal level because I believe honesty is important. Of course, there is a difference between being honest and being rude. I've been called honest many times but it's more a mix of frustration at this fake behavior and honesty that make me sound as it does. It's led me to contemplate just leaving them behind as a whole because I believe that even those largely unaffected by these fake niceties will eventually have the same issue. 
Naturally, as one who knows me would expect, that is not all. Many other things also annoy me. People argue about inane nonsense all the time. They complain about the smallest thing, e.g "oh no I lost a run to pattern x after all this hard work of 4 credits". They make weird excuses for when they're not good at something or failed something in a run. They cry when they don't get as much attention as they want for their runs. Weird stances on how they view the game. In the end, it is a bunch of children seeking validation and attention from those they feel are their elders in the communities. So much so, in fact, that the more I thought about everything, the less I cared about being part of these communities.
I want to take the chance and prevent any fingers pointing at me. I know I am not excluded for all of these things. I have been in pointless arguments before and there were times where I was facetious to keep the peace and did not say the truth. I apologize for those times. It will not happen from now on.

Of course these faults don't apply to everyone. There are people I enjoy talking to and I think there're respectable individuals even among new(er) players. However, it's not worth it to me staying in environments so full of shit on so many levels just for those select few, especially since I can just talk to them privately anyway. Thanks for reading.

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